Hello all. I'm back again, and thrilled to be. Perhaps another time, I'll give reasons for my absence. But for now, let's get centered for our week.
Monday's Mantra: Start, Don't Finish.
I know what you're thinking: What? Isn't this blog about getting things done? Well, not precisely. This blog is about staying serene despite what's happening in your business. While getting things done can contribute to serenity, an obsession with getting things done often has the opposite effect: It makes us rigid and harsh, focused on the thing we can't control (when we finish an article, an edit, when someone will call us back, etc.) rather than what we can (scheduling the next interview, spending 30 minutes on writing).
The fact is, the finishing will take care of itself. It's the starting (or continuing) that's hard. I know this personally. This week I have two rewrites, a long reported feature to write, a fellowship to apply for, pitches to send, and four stories to set up and do interviews for. It's enough to make me throw up my hands and decide my bed--and those books on my Kindle--really need my attention.
This was driven home to me recently by a coaching session with an energetic and prolific client. Like everyone else, she's had her go-around the ring with procrastination. We were talking about the problem and I noticed the way she was talking about it:
"I was supposed to write this story yesterday, but then I wasted two hours paying a bill."
"Then I was going to do it today, but this other thing came up and I let it get in the way."
"And tomorrow I have five interviews, and I'm just going to have to make time for it."
Wasted. Let it get in the way. Forcing it. Pressure. Stress. They create an urgency to finish something--anything--even if it's not the thing we're worried about in the back of our minds. So, not surprisingly, we focus on the things we can get done, not the things we need to do. The bills get paid. The email gets responded to. And the article (or edits, rewrites, interviews, drafts) go undone. Rinse. Repeat.
Now, time management is an issue for all of us, and we could always probably be more efficient. And let's be honest: Starting to write a story can feel like clawing yourself out of a pit. But it's this kind of pressure that stops us in our tracks. Because every day we put it off, every day we excoriate ourselves for delaying and delaying, we hunker into a stance of having to make it up to ourselves. We imagine our clients standing there and tapping their toes in impatience. We tell ourselves over and over again that we are letting ourselves down. We dread work. We get that sick feeling of just wanting it to be over with.
And finishing becomes more important than ever.
What we forget--and what my client and I discussed--is that amid all this chatter about get-it-done and make-it-up-to-me, we forget to get started. Because getting started is insufficient. But it's also the only thing that will bring us back to our center and give us the priceless sense of serenity.
So here's what I intend to do this week: Rather than focusing on the deadlines bearing down on me, I am going to remember just to start. Just make a list and do the first thing on it. When I begin to feel that keening impatience and that feeling of inadequacy attempts to pull me under, I will start again. I will just set the timer for 30 minutes and write. I will set the timer for 30 minutes and contact sources. I will set the timer and spend a few minutes working on the revisions. I will just do the next right thing.
As E.L. Doctorow says, "Writing a novel is like driving a car at night: You can only see as far as the headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."
So get started today. Pick up the phone. Open a Word document. Read a few paragraphs in a book. Believe it or not, persistence will get you all the way there, if you just keep starting again and again.
And, when you do finish, you may just find that you've arrived with your serenity in tact.
Showing posts with label monday mantra. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monday mantra. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 15, 2009
30-Day Marketing Challenge: What's stopping you?
As a result, I've noticed a little slide in my querying: I'm sticking to markets that I know still have money--but they don't pay very well.
Then I look at my income goals and my projections and my throat tightens up a little bit. Serenity it's not.
So before we end this marketing challenge, I want to issue a specific challenge: Send the big queries to the higher paying markets anyway. No matter what. Let them tell you that they aren't taking queries, or that they're sticking to their regular stable of writers. Don't make the decision for them by not sending the query.
I want to share both my self-limiting underlying belief and a means to cope with it today.
The belief: Take my toys and go.
When I was in high school, I was always in classes with teachers that had my straight-A sister the year before. My mother was a teacher in the school district, and my father used to work in the district office, and ocassionally took us to the giant room where wall-size computers calculated our standardized tests. You could say I felt a lot of pressure to perform.
How did I cope? I didn't try. I got Cs and Bs, and convinced myself that I was too cool for this class, or that I didn't care about the subject matter. I was sure that when I loved it, I would try.
The truth was that I was so hyper-competitive that if I didn't think I would be the best--beat my sister, get the best score in the class--I wouldn't try. I'd take my toys and go home.
Now it's 20 years later and I find myself struggling with marketing. It's not that I think my ideas are poor. But are they good enough? It's not that I question my ability to find markets. It's that I can't be guaranteed of a sale. My impulse is not to try.
A version of this is always one of the first complaints I hear from new freelancers. They can't stomach the idea of spending all this time on a query without a guarantee of a sale. So they don't try. I'm trying, but I'm sticking to what seems like a sure bet.
In this economy the pool of sure bets are getting smaller and smaller. And that approach no longer works.
A tool for coping: A daily decision.
This week, it's really been working for me to set aside that fear by asking myself every day:
Do I want to be in this business today?
If I do, then I need to act like I want to be in this business. And acting like I want to be in this business means acting like I want to stay in this business.
That means querying the scary markets, the unsure things: Sending the feature query instead of the front-of-the-book piece. Sending a cold pitch and calling new-to-me markets. It means taking risks with no promise of rewards.
It means not giving up without a fight.
So I urge you to fight: Whatever your resistance, whatever your fear, don't let it hold you back. Decide to be in the fight today.
Photo by lanulop.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday(ish) Mantra: One thing at a time
I don't know about you, but one of the side effects of running my own business is that I constantly have other things to think about and a litany of things to do. Lately, with my personal stresses, it's meant that I'm experiencing multitasking run amok:
I am in the middle of breakfast, but also checking my email. I'm making lunch and also trying to do laundry. I'm planning questions for my next interview while meditating. I'm working on a query and also responding to an email and also working on edits.
I'm, in short, making myself crazy.
So for this week, my mantra is: One thing at a time.
When my mind starts racing to the next thing I have to do, I think "One thing at a time." When I'm checking email, and remember that I also want to check my bank account to see if a transfer went through, I think "one thing at a time." When I am checking on an invoice and I want to also slip in that one change to a story that's in edits, I think, "One thing at a time." When I am writing a draft and want to check email or read my Google Reader, I think "One thing at a time."
It's not just me. Research has shown for years that multitasking makes us dumber and slower, not faster and more connected. There's a brilliant article in November 2007 Atlantic Magazine on this very topic.
We're all rushing around and it's out serenity that pays the price. That feeling that you'll never catch up? That feeling that you're not doing enough, that you could be doing more and that you're lazy? That's the lie of multitasking. In fact, if you're successfully supporting yourself as a self-employed person, you're doing a heroic amount of work over a very short period of time.
So far, it's working for me. I'm getting the same amount of work done, but I'm not nearly as harried.
So as you head into the crazy workload of fall, give yourself some credit.
Then do the next ONE thing on your plate.
I am in the middle of breakfast, but also checking my email. I'm making lunch and also trying to do laundry. I'm planning questions for my next interview while meditating. I'm working on a query and also responding to an email and also working on edits.
I'm, in short, making myself crazy.
So for this week, my mantra is: One thing at a time.
When my mind starts racing to the next thing I have to do, I think "One thing at a time." When I'm checking email, and remember that I also want to check my bank account to see if a transfer went through, I think "one thing at a time." When I am checking on an invoice and I want to also slip in that one change to a story that's in edits, I think, "One thing at a time." When I am writing a draft and want to check email or read my Google Reader, I think "One thing at a time."
It's not just me. Research has shown for years that multitasking makes us dumber and slower, not faster and more connected. There's a brilliant article in November 2007 Atlantic Magazine on this very topic.
We're all rushing around and it's out serenity that pays the price. That feeling that you'll never catch up? That feeling that you're not doing enough, that you could be doing more and that you're lazy? That's the lie of multitasking. In fact, if you're successfully supporting yourself as a self-employed person, you're doing a heroic amount of work over a very short period of time.
So far, it's working for me. I'm getting the same amount of work done, but I'm not nearly as harried.
So as you head into the crazy workload of fall, give yourself some credit.
Then do the next ONE thing on your plate.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Monday's Mantra: Being a Good Steward
This week, when you're stressed and doubtful, repeat this mantra:
I am a good steward of my gifts and to share them with the community in loving kindness.
To believe that mantra you have to take on faith (or at least agree with) the following suppositions:
1. That there is some talent you offer that's unique and special.
2. That they are gifts freely given by the Entity of your choice.
3. That to keep them to yourself is a breach of your contract with that Entity.
4. That your job is to make your gifts available and that by doing so you are a force for good in the world.
5. That you can have both fulfilling work that showcases your talents and enough money to live on. They aren't mutually exclusive.
These can all sound namby-pamby and hopelessly naive.
I disagree on both counts. This is a really important part of why I do the work I do and it affects how I approach it, especially in the fact of rejection. This week, I'll be writing a lot about rejection so I think it's important to frame that discussion with a new way of looking at our work.
So let's break it down:
* Yes, talent is only a small part of any self-employed person's success. I know: I work really hard at my business. I spend a lot of hours querying and writing and rewriting. None of that is about talent. It's about perserverance and drive and being willing to sit my butt in the chair and write.
* My talents, however, are something esle. They are gifts I didn't have to earn or learn. Being articulate (though perhaps not in this particular post), being curious, being interested in helping people transform their lives and knowing how to translate those values into words on the page, are things I didn't have to work for. I'm grateful every day to have them.
* Not everything you do must be fulfilling. There's always going to be servicable work. But when I market myself, I'm often writing queries to dream markets on subjects I love. I have to believe in this work to do it--and to keep doing it in the face of rejection.
* If the idea that keeping your talents to yourself out of fear or self-judgment sounds too hippie-dippy for you... well, then you may not enjoy the rest of this particular blog. But you can also think of it as a motivational tool. Especially is you're of the state of mind that you want to be helpful, the idea that keeping your special talents and value to yourself is selfish may push you outside your comfort zone enough to write that query you've been stalling on.
So when you're feeling, as I sometimes do, that you're reaching too far outside your comfort zone, remember that it's not about you. It's about treating your gifts like the precious things they are, and being a good steward to them by creating a structure that allows them to flourish. That means rejection sometimes--because marketing is about rejection more than anything else.
Think about what feeds your talents this week. For me, it's everything from contact with other freelancers to following up on invoicing in order to sustain this work to reading books that expand my skills.
How are you a steward to your talent?
I am a good steward of my gifts and to share them with the community in loving kindness.
To believe that mantra you have to take on faith (or at least agree with) the following suppositions:
1. That there is some talent you offer that's unique and special.
2. That they are gifts freely given by the Entity of your choice.
3. That to keep them to yourself is a breach of your contract with that Entity.
4. That your job is to make your gifts available and that by doing so you are a force for good in the world.
5. That you can have both fulfilling work that showcases your talents and enough money to live on. They aren't mutually exclusive.
These can all sound namby-pamby and hopelessly naive.
I disagree on both counts. This is a really important part of why I do the work I do and it affects how I approach it, especially in the fact of rejection. This week, I'll be writing a lot about rejection so I think it's important to frame that discussion with a new way of looking at our work.
So let's break it down:
* Yes, talent is only a small part of any self-employed person's success. I know: I work really hard at my business. I spend a lot of hours querying and writing and rewriting. None of that is about talent. It's about perserverance and drive and being willing to sit my butt in the chair and write.
* My talents, however, are something esle. They are gifts I didn't have to earn or learn. Being articulate (though perhaps not in this particular post), being curious, being interested in helping people transform their lives and knowing how to translate those values into words on the page, are things I didn't have to work for. I'm grateful every day to have them.
* Not everything you do must be fulfilling. There's always going to be servicable work. But when I market myself, I'm often writing queries to dream markets on subjects I love. I have to believe in this work to do it--and to keep doing it in the face of rejection.
* If the idea that keeping your talents to yourself out of fear or self-judgment sounds too hippie-dippy for you... well, then you may not enjoy the rest of this particular blog. But you can also think of it as a motivational tool. Especially is you're of the state of mind that you want to be helpful, the idea that keeping your special talents and value to yourself is selfish may push you outside your comfort zone enough to write that query you've been stalling on.
So when you're feeling, as I sometimes do, that you're reaching too far outside your comfort zone, remember that it's not about you. It's about treating your gifts like the precious things they are, and being a good steward to them by creating a structure that allows them to flourish. That means rejection sometimes--because marketing is about rejection more than anything else.
Think about what feeds your talents this week. For me, it's everything from contact with other freelancers to following up on invoicing in order to sustain this work to reading books that expand my skills.
How are you a steward to your talent?
Friday, March 21, 2008
Mantra Check-in: So How'd You Do?
This week I asked you to consider whether your well-laid plans were really the best way for you to go. Or, to put it another way, I asked you to consider whether not following those plans--or fate intervening--was really a problem.
And then we talked about recession. Coincidence?
You know the drill.
So how did it work for you?
It was the best mantra I could have chosen for myself this week. In this roller-coaster world of self-employment, you never know what's going to happen: You're busy until you're really, really not. You've got a new client... until you see the contract. You have a steady gig... until they go in a different direction. I feel like this week has been a lesson in the figurative bobbing and weaving involved in the freelance life. You've got to stay on your toes. You've got to stay nimble, and you've got to keep moving. If you stay behind to focus on what just happened and how it doesn't fit with your plans, you stagnate.
So just for today, keep going. I know I will.
And then we talked about recession. Coincidence?
You know the drill.
So how did it work for you?
It was the best mantra I could have chosen for myself this week. In this roller-coaster world of self-employment, you never know what's going to happen: You're busy until you're really, really not. You've got a new client... until you see the contract. You have a steady gig... until they go in a different direction. I feel like this week has been a lesson in the figurative bobbing and weaving involved in the freelance life. You've got to stay on your toes. You've got to stay nimble, and you've got to keep moving. If you stay behind to focus on what just happened and how it doesn't fit with your plans, you stagnate.
So just for today, keep going. I know I will.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Mantra Check-in: So How'd You Do?
This week's mantra was:
I love my job and I don't have to suffer to achieve my dreams.
How'd you do with it?
I have to say that, ironically, I struggled mightily with it. This week is the culmination of one of the most abundant periods in my freelance life so far. But I also notice I feel run-down and, by yesterday morning, I woke up dreading everything I had in front of me for the day. Not surprisingly, I needed get everything done off my to-do list.
Today I woke up with a new motivation. An addendum to this mantra might be:
I accept that struggling has never made my work better.
Desperation is another matter. Sometimes I have to be desperate--for serenity, work, money, etc.--to be willing to make the changes necessary to my behavior.
So my intention for the day is just to notice the joy I get in my work. I'm likely to enjoy it more that way--and, I'm hoping, struggle less.
I love my job and I don't have to suffer to achieve my dreams.
How'd you do with it?
I have to say that, ironically, I struggled mightily with it. This week is the culmination of one of the most abundant periods in my freelance life so far. But I also notice I feel run-down and, by yesterday morning, I woke up dreading everything I had in front of me for the day. Not surprisingly, I needed get everything done off my to-do list.
Today I woke up with a new motivation. An addendum to this mantra might be:
I accept that struggling has never made my work better.
Desperation is another matter. Sometimes I have to be desperate--for serenity, work, money, etc.--to be willing to make the changes necessary to my behavior.
So my intention for the day is just to notice the joy I get in my work. I'm likely to enjoy it more that way--and, I'm hoping, struggle less.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Monday's Mantra: Struggling is Optional
In this blog, I've written about mantras before, but now I'm starting a new Monday-only feature that gives you a chance to start the week off right. Please let me know if this feature is helpful to you or for what issue youneed a mantra. Email me at Heather at heatherboerner.com--or post your thoughts below.
You've probably heard the old axiom, "Pain is mandatory; suffering is optional." It's usually uttered by those pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstrap drill sargeant types--the "quit yer whining" variety of motivational speaker.
Let's take this out of that context for a moment, though.
If you're a perfectionist, you probably have a tendency to put yourself down pretty harshly in an effort to meet your very high expectations. It can be effective: Maybe you wouldn't reach your unrealistic goals if you hadn't have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. Maybe your business plan or income goals would have been an esoteric exercise if you weren't willing to push yourself hard to get there. There's something to be said for pushing.
But sometimes, if you use self-condemnation to motivate yourself, that pushing can turn into shoving and leave you feeling (pardon the extension of this analogy) beaten up.
In other words, your mantra, without realizing it, may be:
You're not doing enough. Nothing you do is enough.
How'd you like to meet that bully in a dark alley? I wouldn't.
How do you know if you're suffering for your work? The best barometer is self-pity: Why is this happening to me? Why is everything so hard? First of all, pushing yourself is hard, of course. It's a good sign that you're reaching and stretching yourself. But it may also be so hard because it has to be in that worldview. It can't be regularly fun and exciting. If it were, you might not feel like you're working hard enough.
So for this week, consider taking on the mantra that you can accomplish your goals without suffering for them. Work hard, feel that stretch and the fears associated with going after your dreams. But you don't need to pay a pound of flesh to have the life you want. What's more, if you do feel like you have to punish yourself to achieve your goals, you're unlikely to enjoy them anyway.
So take a moment when you're stressed this week, breath deeply into your stomach, imagine a golden light filling you. And then say to yourself:
I love my job and I don't have to suffer to achieve my dreams.
You've probably heard the old axiom, "Pain is mandatory; suffering is optional." It's usually uttered by those pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstrap drill sargeant types--the "quit yer whining" variety of motivational speaker.
Let's take this out of that context for a moment, though.
If you're a perfectionist, you probably have a tendency to put yourself down pretty harshly in an effort to meet your very high expectations. It can be effective: Maybe you wouldn't reach your unrealistic goals if you hadn't have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. Maybe your business plan or income goals would have been an esoteric exercise if you weren't willing to push yourself hard to get there. There's something to be said for pushing.
But sometimes, if you use self-condemnation to motivate yourself, that pushing can turn into shoving and leave you feeling (pardon the extension of this analogy) beaten up.
In other words, your mantra, without realizing it, may be:
You're not doing enough. Nothing you do is enough.
How'd you like to meet that bully in a dark alley? I wouldn't.
How do you know if you're suffering for your work? The best barometer is self-pity: Why is this happening to me? Why is everything so hard? First of all, pushing yourself is hard, of course. It's a good sign that you're reaching and stretching yourself. But it may also be so hard because it has to be in that worldview. It can't be regularly fun and exciting. If it were, you might not feel like you're working hard enough.
So for this week, consider taking on the mantra that you can accomplish your goals without suffering for them. Work hard, feel that stretch and the fears associated with going after your dreams. But you don't need to pay a pound of flesh to have the life you want. What's more, if you do feel like you have to punish yourself to achieve your goals, you're unlikely to enjoy them anyway.
So take a moment when you're stressed this week, breath deeply into your stomach, imagine a golden light filling you. And then say to yourself:
I love my job and I don't have to suffer to achieve my dreams.
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